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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29468427">Dreaming Wide Awake</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyShadowWraith/pseuds/LadyShadowWraith'>LadyShadowWraith</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:07:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,211</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29468427</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyShadowWraith/pseuds/LadyShadowWraith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>At the end, Aerith reflects on her life... but is it truly the end?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Zack Fair/Aerith Gainsborough</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dreaming Wide Awake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I just love these two, and I wanted to give them the happiness they never seemed to get in life. Based off the 97 version as I still haven't been able to play the remake yet. Thanks to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/unlockthelore/pseuds/unlockthelore">unlockthelore</a> for letting me use them as a sounding board!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Fate. A strange thing, and something that could not be denied. Not even when it brought untold pain, again and again. Some days, it was so great she thought she would go mad, or die of it. Even now, at the end, there was pain. Would she ever be free of it?</p>
<p>

Her earliest memories were pain, fear, sadness. The experiments conducted on her, on her mother, by a soulless man who only saw profit and glory, and would do whatever it took to achieve his own twisted ends. To this day, she still wasn’t sure what he had done to her. Even their escape was fraught with sadness- young as she had been, Aerith still remembered her mother’s labored breathing, the blood that coated her little hands, slick and sticky all at once. Words echoed in her mind, the last Ifalna would ever utter: <i>Take care of her for me… please.. Aerith, I love you…</i></p><p>

Elmyra had been good to her. There had been no pain there, and the sorrow of her mother’s passing had soon faded. She knew Ifalna was with her through the Lifestream, the Cetra woman having taught her all she could, while they were together. She was one with the Planet, at peace and free, and that was good. Her childhood wasn’t wholly peaceful, of course. The Turks had been sent to catch her, again and again, but they never tried very hard. There had even been times when Tseng had simply picked her up and taken her back to Elmyra. He was a good man, really. She hoped that he and the others were able to find peace too.</p><p>

The pain of heartbreak was <i>agonizing</i>. It was different from the loss of her mother, which was a small pain now, something she’d grown accustomed to. This… this <i>crippled</i> her. Zack was the first boy, the first man, that she’d ever had feelings for, and the love in her heart overwhelmed her. It crept up on her at first, she who’d been convinced that she would never have something like that, like what her parents had had. When he first fell through the church roof, and started flirting with her, she’d thought nothing of it. But he kept coming back, bought her a pretty pink ribbon for her hair, and soon those brilliant, beautiful, mako-bright eyes began to haunt her dreams.</p><p>

But he was sent away, prey to the whims and wishes of ShinRa, of men and women in power who thought of those beneath them as nothing more than pawns. A single kiss was all they had shared, before new pain lanced through her heart. She knew he had died, been told by the Planet… but she couldn’t deal with it. No, this pain was too much, the loss of his presence too great. The brunette simply pretended he had just not come back to her, even as she wrote him letters she would never send, that would never be read.</p><p>

Even five years later, when another Soldier landed in her lap, she couldn’t admit it.</p><p>

Leaving the city was another new pain. All her life, she had been kept inside, or lived under the sheltering <s>strangling</s> Plate. Sure, she’d gone above to sell her flowers, but completely out of the city, under the vast, achingly blue sky… that was terrifying. It seemed to go on forever, like it would swallow her up, made her feel totally insignificant. She’d always known she was only part of a whole, but the sky was almost too much to deal with. But Aerith adjusted, forced herself not to show the fear she felt, even as they traveled all over the world, fighting to try and save the Planet.</p><p>

It had hurt to leave the rest of the group, her dearest friends, her new family. They’d grown so close, all of them, knew that it would hurt them just as much. They wouldn’t understand, though, what she had to do, why she had to go alone. And she had planned to come back, to help finish the fight and go back home, live the rest of her life quietly with her flowers and her friends…</p><p>

Two feet of steel piercing her stomach put paid to that, though.</p><p>

It hurt. Oh it hurt, more than anything, but she couldn’t cry out. She tried, mouth open wide, but the breath had been stolen from her lungs, even as the blood slipped out of her body, paralyzed by the agony of being stabbed. It didn’t affect her eyesight though. She could see, clearly, the horrified looks on her friends faces, the building fury in Cloud’s eyes (so like Zack’s, her beloved Zack), the tears in Tifa’s as she held out a hand, futilely trying to stop what had already happened, but even that faded away. Grey filled her vision, and she felt herself slide off Sephiroth’s blade, a last breath slipping out, and the final sight granted to her was that of her friends charging over the stones towards her, before blackness surrounded her.</p><p>

And yet, Aerith opened her eyes again. The pain was gone, and she was no longer laying on cold, hard stone, a pool of blood around her, but something soft and warm, something that instantly made her feel safe…</p><p>

“Couldn’t let you lay on the ground till you woke up. Besides, you always used to hold me like this. Figured it was time I returned the favor.”</p><p>

That voice… she knew that voice. Emerald eyes slipped open, and the face above her swam into focus. Spiky, pitch black hair that she had run her fingers through countless times, mesmerized by how soft it managed to be even when it looked like he’d been struck by a thunder spell, a cocky grin that never failed to bring an answering smile to her face, and brilliant, depthless eyes, Mako bright, twinkling with love and life. It was a face she hadn’t seen in more than five years, and yet still knew as well as her own.</p><p>

“Zack…” Her voice was the barest whisper, and she couldn’t keep tears from filling her eyes. Her body moved before she was even aware of it, arms latching around his neck as she settled in his lap. His arms wrapped around her in response, one broad hand stroking her back as she cried, face buried in his shoulder. She had known, of course, that there was life after death, but she hadn’t known she would be able to <i>feel</i> him, to see him as he had been before he left her. Her own hands ran through his hair, relishing the sensations that had long been lost to her, before simply clinging to his shirt. Was this real? Was it really him?</p><p>

“It’s me, Aerith. I missed you too.” Oh. Had she spoken out loud? Or had he simply read her actions, known that she wouldn’t be able to quite believe what was happening? It didn’t matter. He was content to hold her while she cried, letting her purge years of pain and sorrow. When the tears started to fade, he tilted her face up, kissing her deeply. It was something he’d ached to do for far too long, to taste her sweet lips again. Time apart had made him forget, and he was determined to burn it into his memory now (not that he intended to ever be apart from her again). The way her lips, full and soft, fit so perfectly against his. The scent of her filled his nose, earth and lavender, the comforting smell of old books, the steel of her staves. It was a combination that was uniquely her, and he loved every nuance of it. She tasted sweeter than he remembered, like honey and her favorite raspberry tea, but most of all, she tasted, smelled, felt like <i>home</i>. He never wanted to let go of her, to let that warmth and light leave his arms. Aerith seemed perfectly on board with this, slender hands clenched so tightly in his shirt it threatened to tear, pressing herself so close against him that she was nearly merged with him.</p><p>

Oh yes, here was everything she had been missing. Zack surrounded her utterly, and she never wanted it to change- not entirely. She loved him, as she had never loved another, <i>would</i> never love another, and she wanted him. If what was pressing against her was any indication, the feeling was mutual. As the kiss broke apart, their foreheads pressed together as they panted for air, she smiled softly, voice whisper quiet and meant just for them. “So is that your Buster sword, or are you just happy to see me?” She wasn’t the utter innocent so many seemed to think she was, despite being a virgin. She wasn’t quite sure where they were still, the area around them hazy, but it seemed reminiscent of the church, and it was private. That was enough for her. The dark haired man simply laughed, warm and bright, and held her closer. </p><p>

“I am <i>very</i> happy to see you, Aerith. And I want…” His words failed him, trying to articulate something they had never discussed, something they hadn’t truly thought they’d ever be able to do. She seemed to sense it though, and kissed him again, softer this time, her slender hands starting to undo his shirt and slide it off him. A quiet groan escaped him as those same hands finally reached his chest, scattered with scars, but she didn’t linger over them. She seemed content to explore the vast expanse of him, only breaking the kiss when they needed to breathe. He wasn’t one to pass up any chance to touch her though, not now, and his own hands swiftly undid the row of buttons holding her dress closed, slipping it off her shoulders. Her bra was plain and simple, and utterly her, and he took the time to pull back and simply <i>look</i>. </p><p>

His hands were calloused and rough, but oh so gentle as they started to roam over her skin in return. He lingered on her collarbone, traced the edges of her bra, and one settled on her waist, big enough to span nearly half of it. It was a startling contrast to the smoothness of her own skin, marred only by the scar from Sephiroth’s sword. He touched it briefly, sorrow in those brilliant eyes of his, before he shifted quickly, laying them down and covering her with his broad form. A quiet moan escaped her as he shifted his kiss from her lips down to her neck, slowly exploring her skin, tasting what seemed to be every inch of her. Fire flooded her veins as he worked, gathering in the pit of her stomach and rolling around restlessly, waiting for <i>something</i>. His hands continued to move as well, one finding her nipple through the fabric of her bra and slowly working it to a peak. She arched at that, wanting him to touch more even as she mimicked the move on him.</p><p>

He certainly wasn’t complaining. As Aerith arched beneath him, he found the clasp in front and released it, basking in the sight of her. She was absolutely, utterly perfect. Her breasts were small, and fit perfectly in the palm of his hand, and he <i>had</i> to know how they tasted. The thought was parent to the deed, and he leaned down, flicking his tongue across her nipple before enveloping it, listening with pride to her moan. He thought that he could listen to it for hours, and took his time to lavish her nipple with attention, switching to the other after several long moments to do the same. Her nails dug into his shoulders, a soft, sweet pain that he relished, and he flicked his gaze upwards to watch her writhe, biting her lip as she tried to contain herself. That wouldn’t do. He wanted to hear her more. </p><p>

Pulling back, he undid her dress the rest of the way, blessing the designer for making it so simple and allowing it to part so easily from her form. Her panties were the same as her bra, unassuming and white, but he could see the faint wet spot beginning to form on them. “I want to see you too…” Her voice was huskier now, those brilliant green eyes locked on his form, and he nodded. Quickly, he undid his belt, cursing when he realized his boots were still on. While he busied himself undoing them as fast as he could, Aerith rose up, the dress and bra falling away from her completely, and granted him another beautiful sight- she pulled the ever-present pink ribbon from her hair, and he was able to watch each strand fall down around her shoulders, joining the curls that were always free, and he nearly forgot to breathe. It didn’t take much longer for him to shed the rest of his clothes, reaching out to cup her cheek once more, the question again in his eyes.</p><p>

“Yes, Zack. It’s always been you…” Sighing softly, Aerith leaned into his hand, though her eyes roamed over his form. There was so much to take in, to memorize… the scent of him, like sword oil and leather, woodsmoke and the undefinable that was the Mako in him. He was solid as a bulwark, broad and muscled, and the scars only added to the strength. And further down… well. She’d never actually <i>seen</i> a man before. He was proud and hard, and he seemed bigger than she had thought… well, he was a Soldier, First Class, after all. Perhaps it was a side effect. She wasn’t going to complain though. In fact, it just made that fire gathering in her belly hotter, and she reached out for him, grasping his neck and pulling him close as she laid back down. He didn’t seem finished exploring her yet, though. Careful hands pulled her panties down and cast them to the side, and those maddening kisses resumed. A soft one, different from the others, was laid on her scar, but he didn’t linger long, preferring to move further down until he reached her core. </p><p>

She had touched herself before, naturally. But the first touch of his lips, rough and soft at the same time, had her arching in delight, gripping his hair far tighter than she meant. And then his tongue flicked out, tasting her, exploring her, and Aerith stopped thinking altogether. The only thing in the world was him, his touch, and when he slid one finger inside her, she simply exploded. The world faded away to white as her body tensed, and she knew she cried his name, but that was all she knew, floating in the soft aftershocks until she came back to herself fully. He still rested between her thighs, watching her with an utterly smug smirk on his face, giving her a small chance to recover- but not for long. </p><p>

He dove back into her core as her breath started to even out, needing to taste her again. It was an aphrodisiac, a drug, and he needed it. Sliding a second finger into her, Zack let the music of her moans fill his ears as he sought her clit with his tongue once more. Time and again he drove her to her peak, wanting her limp and unable to think before he took her. She deserved this, after so much suffering in her life, and he was honored to be able to give it to her. Eventually, her hands pulling on his hair tightly and his name a sob on her lips, he pulled away, licking his own lips like a cat who found a bowl of cream. Slowly, the Soldier made his way up her form, pressing soft kisses everywhere until he met her lips once more. She seemed to chase the taste of herself on his, her tongue slipping into his mouth and meeting his, and as he positioned himself between her thighs, his tip pressed against her, he pulled back to meet her eyes.</p><p>

“I love you, Aerith.” Slowly, so slowly, he pressed inside her, groaning low and deep at heat and pressure that surrounded him. She opened to him like a flower, like she had been made for him, and wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him in closer. He was panting heavily by the time he was fully seated, and though he had tried to be careful, he could see the faint pain deep in her eyes. “Only a moment, petal. Only a moment.” He kissed her gently, letting her adjust even as he desperately wanted to move, but only when she squeezed around him, legs tightening, did he do so. It was heaven, utterly perfect, and he couldn’t keep his groans of pleasure quiet as he thrust into her. She seemed to think the same, mewling and moaning every time he filled her, the nails of one hand leaving marks down his spine as she threw her head back, revealing that lovely column of her neck. It needed attention.</p><p>

As he transferred his kisses to her neck once more, Aerith thought she would simply explode from pleasure and happiness. She was full, so very full, and he hit every spot inside her that only increased the pleasure. She hadn’t known she could <i>feel</i> so much, and yet he had brought her to that edge so many times she had lost count. And now, now it was even better. The fire was building again, and she could sense that he was close too, his thrusts growing more erratic and harder. She liked it though, wanted  to feel it, to know she would be sore later. It was worth it, and she only wished they’d been able to have this sooner. As he left a dark mark on her neck, balancing on one arm while the other snuck up to tease her nipple again, she stiffened and cried out, orgasm overwhelming her once more. It was bigger than the others, and she only vaguely heard him groan out her name, and felt his release fill her. </p><p>

After several moments, Aerith came back to herself, panting hard, and realized that she had a death grip on his hair, and her other hand was digging into his back so hard it would leave marks. Slowly, she managed to let go, welcoming the weight of him as he sagged above her, and pressed a soft kiss to his throat, conveniently right next to her lips. “I love you so much…” Her words were a bare whisper, but he heard, and made himself move, rolling them over so she sprawled on his chest. Her hair covered them both now, and he lifted one hand from her waist to brush through it, urging her to lay her head on his shoulder.</p><p>

“Rest. It’s safe here. I won’t go anywhere.” A soft, sweet reassurance, but one she’d needed to hear. She let her eyes drift closed, even as he was still inside her, and focused on the gentle pressure of a calloused hand stroking down her spine. Finally, finally, she was free of pain and sorrow. Here at last.... here was her happiness and peace.</p>
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